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September 24, 2010
Butch v. Tommy - Week Four
If it were not for the invention of alcohol, it is highly likely that Butch and Tommy would be under a rock somewhere on the planet, trying to evade the horrid picking they both foisted upon an unsuspecting public last week. Fortunately, alcohol, with its mystical properties which allow inhibitions to melt away and humans to make fools of themselves and still talk about it glibly is not to be underestimated. Not only did Butch get dragged down by Tommy for a week below the notorious .500 "Tommy Line" but it was not even close. Butch went winless until Arizona and Stanford saved his butt in the Saturday late-night specials while Tommy went winless in his first three - got lucky when his boys of Troy allowed Minnesota to score a meaningless touchdown with seconds remaining in the game to cover the spread - and then lost all the remaining games except Arizona's. Needless to say, not only did Tommy drag Butch into his den of iniquity for the week, he also got his smelly cooties all over Butch and got both of us below the "Tommy Line" for the week. Nice.
Tommy: Well, Tommy was going to stick a pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger last weekend, and then he realized that Butch would have to sit next to me, so we could re-enact the magic bullet theory from the grassy knoll. Zapruder film, anyone? Anyway, that is a historical and conspiratorial way of saying that Tommy and Butch both sucked last week to the tune of 2-7. Tommy can be excused from trusting Washington because he's stupid, but Butch picking the Huskies against the spread? What is going on? The Beavs not covering against a bad out of conference team at home? UCLA pretending that they're decent? Cal exploring the fine art of not playing defense? ASU showing up on the road? Seriously, the cat is about to bite the dog here. Time to close our eyes and throw darts again.
Butch: Butch has no explanation for last week except that Tommy's cooties got all over him for the Washington pick - Tommy is still in love with his USC coach-boy in Seattle - Butch should have known better. Bad Butch. But the Fighting Tedfords not fighting in the biggest little city in the world? Denny's Devils playing close in the Land of Brats and Cheese? Riley's Rodents not covering the spread for just the third time in 12 tries? UCLA!?!? Butch suspects some sort of planet alignment occurred last week - if not in this universe, then in a parallel one.
USC (-21.5) at Wazzu
Tommy: The Trojans didn't cover against the Cougs last year. The Trojans are 2-9 against the spread as a double digit favorite in the last two season. They are 3-9 against the spread in their last 12 home games. Tommy loves his Trojans, but ain't running against those odds. Good Guys-34, BAAAAAAD Guys-14.
Butch: Typical Tommy - abandoning his boys of Troy in their time of need - no surprise there. Tommy got lucky last week but there will be no luck involved this week. This is not the Oklahoma State, Montana State or SMU defense Wazzu will be facing on Saturday. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
Oregon State at Boise State (-17)
Tommy: Giving up over 450 yards per game? A QB who can't even complete 50% of his passes. Sorry, Rodgers brothers or no, the Beav is about to take a beatdown against the real mid-major power. Bring On The Bammers-45, You'll Be Better In November-17.
Butch: This is about the time of the year when Oregon State begins their annual migration to respectability. They are coming off their usual ugly home win and now are ready for their close road loss - right on cue. Having already faced a tough opponent on the road [TCU] as well as tough road opponents regularly in the Pac-10, they will not be cowed by blue turf [especially since they already practiced on it]. Therefore, after this elaborate explanation, Butch fully expects Riley's Rodents to cover.
Stanford (-4.5) at Notre Dame
Tommy: Listen, Vegas. I know this game has been close in the past. I know the Irish have owned Stanford up until last season. But come on. This one isn't going to require any OT fake field goal for the Cardinal. This is going to be a repeat of the UCLA game since this year, as in past years, there's no D in ND. Feasting On Cupcakes Before The Showdown Next Week-35, N-17.
Butch: Poor Leprechauns. They have their own network and still it does not help them win football games and get to the big money bowl games. Poor Leprechauns, let's all hold hands and feel sorry for them now, shall we, Thomas? Butch takes the Trees to win and cover.
UCLA at Texas USC (-16)
Tommy: Tommy knows that the Shorthorns are a little short on offense this year, but the Ruins will be facing an elite defense for the first time this season, and the turnovers that the Not-So-Fresh Prince of Westwood will generate will make this a cruise for Bevo. No Rout 66 This Year-31, Bring Back Kevin Craft-6.
Butch: The last time Tommy used this "elite defense" nonsense was when he was trying to convince everybody that Tennessee was going to hold Oregon under 30 points. That did not turn out so well for Thomas. But UCLA are no Nikes, so Tommy can bring his "elite defense" spiel back to life for at least one game. Butch also selects Texas to win and cover.
California at Arizona (-6.5)
Tommy: Looks like Cal is going to start its downward cascade early. Is anyone better and starting like a freight train in early September and then embarrassing themselves later in the same month than the Bears? And now is not the time to be slumping against the Stoopsters, who seem to have finally found their mojo under the Angry Spitting One. Kitties cover easy. Tucson Is An Extremely Beautiful And Exciting City-35, Riley Is Your QB; Therefore, You Suck-21.
Butch: This used to be a tough game to predict because the Fighting Tedfords were unpredictable and the Mildcats were predictable - but after seeing how quarterback Kevin Riley handled pressure on the road against an inspired opponent last week - the roles have been reversed. If the Arizona emotion shows up this week after a big win last week, they win easily and Stoops does not have to jump around like a circus clown and spit all over the refs. Butch selects Arizona to win and cover.
Oregon (-11.5) at Arizona State
Tommy: Back to you, Vegas. Really? Have you ever watched a Duck-Sun Devil game? It's like watching my son play Madden against the computer on the easiest level. It's pure pyrotechnics, on one side that is. Margins of Oregon victories in this game over the past five season: 14, 35, 12, 34, and 23. That's what you'd call a trend. We Own Tempe-56, Erickson Owns Jack Daniels-20.
Butch: No argument here, Tommy. The Nikes will methodically destroy Denny's Devils. Butch takes the Nikes to win and cover.
Last Week: 2-7
Last Week: 2-7
+++++++sponsored by Greg Davis Sports Photography+++++++++
The college football prognosticating season is here and you know what that means [well besides Butch and Tommy going at each other's throats] It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-10 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.